Protect Your Peace

#FirstCoffeeThoughts

I saw a video from a therapist online about how if you feel the need to protect your peace, it means that your peace is fragile, false, and dependent upon perfection.

When therapists are out in the world advocating for people to allow themselves to be harmed by others for the sole purpose of trying to prove strength or suggesting that protecting oneself from harm is somehow an admission of fragility or weakness … it helps to explain why very few find psychology helpful or worthwhile.

This twisted perspective comes from people who think that everyone is too sensitive these days, from people who think that beating children is the best way to teach respect and obedience, and from people who believe that anyone who is not like them is somehow broken, weak, a snowflake, not masculine enough, not feminine enough or otherwise “an other” because they move through the world differently.

These beliefs come from people who probably shouldn’t be therapists.

There are a lot of reasons why people need to protect their peace especially in difficult times.

There are a lot of people who are in a process of healing or recovering from trauma and that is a very delicate state to be in.

It’s important, when trying to heal any kind of wound, that you treat that wound with care and you protect the area of recovery from further infection and harm by covering it and keeping it safe.

This obviously also applies to mental and emotional wounds as well.

A therapist who:

1. advocates for continuous trauma or for opening oneself up to chaos to build resilience

2. thinks self-preservation is weakness

3. believes that self-harm builds strength

… should have their own projection and unhealed trauma examined before being allowed to see patients.

It’s important to remember that ANYONE can become a therapist.

Anyone who passes a bunch of classes and scores well on tests can be licensed to treat others even if they aren’t well themselves.

Becoming a psychologist doesn’t require any kind of moral grounding, it doesn’t have any kind of psychological screening process. Anyone can become one.

All that is required is that you read books and regurgitate exactly what those books say by way of testing and assessment. In fact the testing discourages having any thoughts of your own in order to pass. There are set answers and all you have to do is choose the right ones regardless of what you believe.

Plenty of sociopaths are psychologists. Too many.

The point of this is to say that when someone gives you advice that sounds off, remember that they are a PERSON and that people are rarely objective.

They are feeding you information through their own lens of seeing the world and their own biased experiences with the world.

Their vision of what is good and healthy may not be ideal for you and may not pertain to you at all. It also could just be wrong.

That said: 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐭 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬𝐧’𝐭 𝐦𝐞𝐚𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐞𝐚𝐤.

Protecting your peace is about self-care and selfness.

Protecting your peace is about doing everything you can to ensure you are always your best self for others, especially those that rely on you like family and friends.

Protecting your peace is a constant process where you are always advocating for yourself and making choices that prioritize your mental, physical, and also your spiritual well being.

Protecting your peace is about prioritizing your needs as a human being.

There is nothing weak or wrong with protecting your peace.

There is nothing about protecting your peace that suggests you are striving for some kind of impossible perfection.

Protecting your peace is about simply trying to live the best life possible at all times and making sure that you are your own top priority so you can be your best self, so you can heal, and so you can be strong when the time comes for you to be.

You don’t have to prove anything to anyone but yourself.

Stop letting UNWELL people try to tell you what strength looks like or what it means to be strong.

Stop letting people IN DENIAL try to dictate to you how you should be living your own life and where your priorities should be.

Stop letting people full of ANGER AND FEAR try to tell you who you should be and how you should behave.

Stop letting people who are emotionally DYSREGULATED and BARELY ABLE to handle day to day living try to tell you that prioritizing mental health is weakness.

𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘦𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘰𝘧 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘵𝘦𝘤𝘵 𝘪𝘴 “𝘵𝘰 𝘬𝘦𝘦𝘱 𝘴𝘢𝘧𝘦 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘮 𝘰𝘳 𝘥𝘢𝘮𝘢𝘨𝘦.” 𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘵𝘦𝘤𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘱𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘦, 𝘺𝘰𝘶’𝘳𝘦 𝘬𝘦𝘦𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘭 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘧𝘳𝘦𝘦 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘯𝘦𝘨𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘪𝘯𝘧𝘭𝘶𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘴. 𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴𝘯’𝘵 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘱𝘶𝘵 𝘶𝘱 𝘸𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘢𝘷𝘰𝘪𝘥 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘤𝘵 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘶𝘵𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘭𝘥. 𝘐𝘵 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘧𝘶𝘭 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘱𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘣𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘥𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘯 𝘦𝘧𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘭𝘪𝘮𝘪𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮. 𝘐𝘵 𝘢𝘭𝘴𝘰 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘥𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘣𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘣𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘫𝘰𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘢 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦.

Protecting your peace is an important part of having a balanced life.

Protecting your peace is just one part of a long journey towards self-awareness, self-appreciation, and self-care.

Protecting your peace is part of a commitment you make to yourself that is about self-love and prioritizing your own self-worth.

Don’t let anyone tell you any different. I don’t care how many letters they have after their name.

Letters only mean they test well, not that they live well or ARE well.