Summary
I do blame social media for grooming people into believing that inserting themselves into absolutely anything and everything they read is what they're SUPPOSED TO DO. People online have NO CLUE how to behave or how to treat each other in healthy or civilized ways.
#FirstCoffeeThoughts
When Dr Song and I first started the Babylon5 Media Therapy (https://psykhe.media) project well over 10 years ago, I found that it was IMPOSSIBLE to get mundane people – especially white males – to understand that the project was NOT actually about Babylon 5.
No matter how many times I tried to explain that the project was about Dr Song, people couldn’t find their way out of ego and dysregulation to understand that their OPINION of someone else’s subjective opinion wasn’t necessary or WANTED or even VALID.
Even now I RARELY meet people who understand that there are times (most times) where it’s ok – and sometimes even IMPORTANT – to just STFU and listen and learn.
I do blame social media for this actually … for grooming people into believing that inserting themselves into absolutely anything and everything they read is what they’re SUPPOSED TO DO and rewarding them with likes for inserting ego and narcissism into other people’s self-expression.
Media Therapy is NOT about the content being viewed, it’s about the person viewing it. Your opinions about the media are just as irrelevant and inappropriate as any opinions you may have about someone else’s life experience.
The majority of people who, at the beginning of the project, would constantly step in and insert their opinions about Dr Song’s personal therapy were 100% white men – as B5 tends to have a primarily white male audience that makes sense. All the comments on the videos, before I turned commenting off, where 100% about how these men disagreed with Dr Song’s feelings about the episode.
Media Therapy is about TRANSFERENCE. It’s about what a viewer is inserting into what they watch. It has nothing to do with ANYONE else.
If you have anger or negative feelings while watching someone’s therapeutic process of analyzing their own feelings, then you should spend more time offline examining your own triggers and transference.
The number of men who just couldn’t sit still and watch and listen to someone express what something made them feel was astonishingly high. They absolutely became rabid about how Dr Song was WRONG about how something made her feel … they felt she was MISINTERPRETING what she saw … or that she didn’t understand what the episode was about or didn’t understand what JMS was saying … and they decided it was their job to step in and mansplain why she shouldn’t feel what she felt.
Only a white man could decide that his opinion about someone else’s therapy was more valid than what the person themselves is feeling or experiencing.
Dr Song: “When this character said this, it made me feel a certain way.”
Random Man: “Well let me explain where you’re wrong and what this character was actually saying.”
Media Therapy isn’t about THE SHOW, it’s about THE PERSON watching the show and their level of PERSONAL TRANSFERENCE and TRIGGERS that come out during that viewing.
Dr Song’s lived reality – her upbringing in an abusive household, her culture, her education level, even her career as a clinical psychologist – all figure into how she interprets the ART that she experiencing. That is why media is SUBJECTIVE and why media therapy is focused on transferential analysis in order to help people better understand THEMSELVES … not the media they are watching.
Outside opinions on that process are absolutely, positively UNNECESSARY and NOT VALID in ANY way.
Trying to explain this to an audience of primarily white men was IMPOSSIBLE.
There was no language that I could use that would stop them from jumping into the comment section and telling Dr Song that she was wrong, or confused, or that she wasn’t a big enough fan of the show because she was “missing the point of the episodes”. These people were completely incapable of using logic or reason to recognize that their role was to listen and observe, not to speak, correct, or explain anything.
What I did get a lot during those times and something I still hear from mostly men even today, is this completely illogical concept that simply because you put something online … or make it accessible to the public … that automatically means that you WANT people to comment or that people SHOULD BE ALLOWED to insert themselves into it simply because they can SEE it.
This is the most INSANE thing that I think social media has brainwashed people into believing.
This belief is simply: 𝘐𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘪𝘵, 𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘵 𝘮𝘺𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘪𝘵.
Nothing that happens on social media is about “rights”. Social media ultimately is about “socializing” and “social decorum” and I think as social media has grown and the audience has become younger, there is no one left to explain what decorum is or what the basic rules of socializing even are anymore.
People online have NO CLUE how to behave or how to treat each other in healthy or civilized ways anymore.
Removing the ability for people to comment on Dr Song’s media therapy videos was the ONLY way to get people to shut up and to keep the focus on the purpose of the project … which was merely to show how media therapy works and demonstrate the active process of therapy using that modality.
This is someone else’s therapeutic process and self expression. It doesn’t require ANY commentary. It doesn’t require ANY opinions. It’s most certainly doesn’t require ANY “correction”.
There is an amazing amount of audacity in someone … as well as EXTREME amounts of narcissism … that would compel them to watch someone IN THERAPY and then step into it and try to “correct” them or “explain” their feelings to them or tell them how what they are feeling and experiencing is “wrong”.
Who in the world would even think to do that? (White) Men
Who would think that is their RIGHT? (White) Men
Social media has taught this madness to people and especially to (white) men.
𝘐𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘪𝘵, 𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘵 𝘮𝘺𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘪𝘵.
If that is what you truly believe, if that is the hill you are willing to die on instead of learning to simply stand back and listen, learn, and evolve your understanding of other people without making it about you … I feel really sorry for you and you probably should consider therapy of your own.
That uncontrollable urge you feel to attack someone’s lived experience IS TRANSFERENCE that you should analyze.
If you’re interested in Media Therapy, you can find more information on the Media Psykhe website. If you want to see it in action, there are over 16 videos demonstrating it featuring clinical psychologist Dr Jennie Song.
But … if watching/reading someone talk/write about THEMSELVES or THEIR OWN FEELINGS triggers you, you need HELP.
Someone else’s journey has NOTHING to do with you AT ALL and you don’t need to be a part of it, insert yourself into it, or try to make it about you in ANY WAY.
𝗜𝘁’𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗥𝗜𝗚𝗛𝗧, 𝗶𝘁’𝘀 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗗𝗬𝗦𝗙𝗨𝗡𝗖𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡.
