Make Decisions. Stop Waiting.

Elaine @thewebrecluse

December 14 2022 9:00am

I came to a clear resolution yesterday that I am putting into place today. Making decisions was never a problem for me … even before stoicism … I was always a very logical, very realistic child. If things didn’t make sense or were problems, I simply removed them and replaced them with things that made sense and were not problematic. From issues to people, the same rules applied. Peace and a clear hue (ref. PsychoPass) are what matter. Life is too short for nonsense.

I know a lot of people trapped in unending, unfixable situations. I know people who are trapped by their inability to take action. I know people who refuse to make any decisions for fear of making the wrong one and having regrets so they don’t move forward and are trapped in a different way. I don’t believe in that kind of thing … and as a child I understood what being trapped was like … having no rights, having no support, having no way out … having to merely endure until the time came.

Learning to endure can teach people resilience but it can also teach them a kind of interesting passivity … this Japanese concept that I abhor “shoganai” which is basically “the situation cannot be helped” so you do nothing in the face of it. I always pushed back against that idea … there was nothing I could do to my abusive parents but I could do things for myself and to myself to prepare, to be stronger, to be smarter … better than them. There is always something you can do. Always.

Look forward. Look towards the future. The situation you’re in may not have to be eternal. The problems you are having may not have to be permanent. There is always something you can do inside or outside … YOU are a factor in your own life too … not just the things on the outside that push against you. You can push back internally. You can strengthen your mind and your resolve. Things may not change immediately but YOU can CHANGE every single day. You can evolve. You can ascend. Inside.

You can’t change the world but you can change yourself and how you respond to it and move through it.

You can’t change people but you can change yourself and how to respond to them or allow them to affect you.

Stop wasting time on things and people that diminish you.

Focus forward. Make yourself a priority.

Learn forgiveness. Learn mindfulness. Learn patience. Learn to stop complaining and to start doing.

Realize that you spend more time in a prison of your own making than anywhere else.