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Home » Fan(atic)s All Need Therapy
EssaysFirst Coffee Thoughts

Fan(atic)s All Need Therapy

Elaine Barlow
Last updated: June 27, 2025 3:18 pm
by: Elaine Barlow
Original Publication Date: November 15, 2023
Reading time: 7 minutes
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Summary

Actors are people. Singers are people. They never stop being people. They have dreams, desires, and feelings. Fans, however, are sick AF and need therapy.

First Coffee Thoughts (previously under “Musings” and “CoSo”) are blog versions of my #FirstCoffeeThoughts and #FCT multi-thread posts on CounterSocial. These are here for posterity and also to make them easier for people to read at a later time should they wish to.

#FirstCoffeeThoughts

Watching Lucy Hale on Steven Bartlett’s podcast and she’s someone I have loved the work of for a long time prior to Pretty Little Liars. Listening to her talk about her pain, her addiction, her darkness, and her creativity is such a great experience.

I have many friends in the film and TV industry and I get a greater and more realistic view of what it means to work in the entertainment world as just a normal person who just simply wants to act or create. Not even a artist perse, just a person who acts.

Chappell Roan Instagram Post
Chappell Roan Instagram Post

That work is hard AF. Just to want to act. Just to be in front of a camera or on a stage or whatever. To just want to do it without all the bullshit and the scrutiny and the parasocial lunatics and the press… just to want to get a check and be able to live life, pay rent, pay bills and just be a normal actor or actress. It’s hard AF. And it can be so isolating and difficult. Listening to Lucy talk about her life reminds me of many stories I hear from friends. The pain of it. The loneliness.

Many people I know in the industry feel like the public thinks that they have no right to complain about anything simply because they have a job. It blows my mind that you can work hard even come from nothing and work your ass off but people think you don’t deserve to be unhappy or complain or struggle simply because you have had some success. It’s ridiculous. It’s unfair. It’s cruel. Everyone struggles. Everyone works hard and has emotions and they are allowed to have them.

People who work hard don’t stop becoming people just because YOU didn’t achieve what they achieved. Mind your business. Focus on YOU.

Lucy said oh no one wants to hear about the struggles of someone like me and I have heard that so many times before. Someone like me. What does that mean? Someone who was lucky and landed a job for 8 years? Someone who worked their ass off every day? Someone who moved to LA at 15 and suffered and struggled to achieve their dream? What makes you unworthy of being heard or listened to or seen as a person? Its something that disgusts me when dealing with people who watch media.

Actors are people.

Most of the people I get disgusted by are people who are just jealous or they assume certain actors got things they didn’t deserve and maybe some did but most that I know were just regular people who had a dream and they did everything in their power to achieve it.

Some actors I know are C list or even D list and every check is important and they barely make ends meet being extras or playing side characters. Still others I know have won awards and STILL are people …

People who work hard don’t stop becoming people just because YOU didn’t achieve what they achieved. Mind your business. Focus on YOU.

ALL of the actors I know WORK THEIR ASSES OFF. They don’t just sit around and do nothing and then land epic roles and if they do get roles they worked hard for that opportunity.

And let’s say someone didn’t have to work as hard … that doesn’t make them unworthy of being listened to and it doesn’t make them people who don’t deserve understanding or sympathy.

You watch people on a screen and you think you know them. You see an interview or social media and think you have the right to judge them or think you know their life. Trust me … you don’t know anything at all and you should probably mind your business. I’ve sat in conversations listening to people criticize people I actually DO KNOW and I’m just like … you need to shut the fuck up about every single thing you are saying because you know nothing John Snow …

Learn to appreciate the fact that hard working people are out there entertaining you so you can escape your miserable, depressive lives.

People have value.
Learn how to see it.

Or maybe you can’t because you are incapable of seeing your OWN value and you project that self-loathing onto others.

People aren’t on stage or screen purely for your benefit. They have dreams too. They want to create or be artists and do the things they are passionate about just like you do … they’re human beings.

They don’t stop being human just because they get paid to do what they love. That’s the whole point of an artistic dream is it not?

Learn to consider the value of other people’s dreams especially the positive ones that are about bringing joy, creativity, and uniqueness to people’s lives.

Learn to appreciate the fact that hard working people are out there entertaining you so you can escape your miserable, depressive lives or whatever reason you binge their material.

TAGGED:actressesChappell Roancosocountersocialdysregulationfanaticismfanaticsfctfirst coffee thoughtshealingLucy Halemental healthparasocialPretty Little Liarspsychopathssocial mediasocial media posttelevision
SOURCES:Chappell Roan Speaks Out On TikTok Chappell Roan Issued A New Statement About "Predatory" And "Superfan Behavior"Chappell Roan Says She’s “Scared and Tired” of Fans Trying to Normalize “Predatory Behavior”
VIA:Elaine Barlow (@thewebrecluse)

A Note From Elaine

This is my experience, not yours.

I don’t write reviews perse. I write about MY EXPERIENCE with media. If it resembles a review that’s because I’m trying to communicate what media means to ME which has absolutely NOTHING to do with YOU. The existence of my experience doesn’t invalidate yours in any way. If you are triggered by what other people write about art, that is a YOU issue and you should seek help for your emotional dysregulation problem instead of attacking or bullying others for expressing their SUBJECTIVE EXPERIENCE with art. You are not the center. Yours is not the default experience.

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5 out of 5Have to stop
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I can relate to the control that everyone has over Forever; being treated like a problem or as "bad" because you are different from what others want.

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Why No

Comments?

Because this is my life. Not a conversation.

I use this space to journal, to express myself, to have fun … to be me.
Who I am, how I express myself in my own space, my feelings and my lived reality are not up for debate and don’t need your commentary.
You’re a guest here.
Not everything you see online requires your input or opinion.
In fact, almost NONE of it does.
Learn to just enjoy and accept who people are.

Elaine As Jekyll and Hyde

© 2009-2024 Elaine Barlow / ☰ / The Web Recluse.
All gif animations and drawn art by the amazing Christina Oei
No part of the materials available through the thewebrecluse.blog or thewebrecluse.com websites, their subdomains and any affiliated websites, may be copied, photocopied, reproduced, translated or reduced to any electronic medium or machine-readable form, in whole or in part, without prior written consent of Elaine Barlow.  Any other reproduction in any form without the permission of Elaine Barlow is prohibited.

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