Know Yourself For Others

#FirstCoffeeThoughts

I had to deal with my tribemate’s dysregulated emotions at 7:05am and that resulted in her getting one of my famous 2 hour lectures about mental health, general wellness, selfNESS, and not infecting other people with your negativity and spreading darkness into their lives.

My lectures are never about anger, they are focused on teaching, asking questions, and “genin wo mitsukeru”.

Everyone has problems at different times, how you handle them shows your character.

In middle school and high school what I realized about my peers was that most of them were completely psychotic and probably would end up being such as adults.

The other thing I realized is that madness seemed to be the norm for most teenagers and that while trying to figure out who they were as people, the needed to hurt other people to do it and many of them took joy in doing so. I spent much of my youth terribly afraid of people and that never changed, my instincts just became more keen.

As I was telling my tribemate, it wasn’t until I got to college that I realized that many people were angry and depressed simply because they weren’t happy and had no sense of what their lives should be FOR THEM.

They were focused on getting careers and figuring out what they wanted to do for the rest of their lives and had no time for self exploration or even figuring out who they wanted to be (if they hadn’t already).

They were on some path made for them or imagined in their minds.

People get out of school and go right into the workforce and sometimes marriage and kids and they never take the time to figure out who they actually are outside of the programming, brainwashing, and grooming of capitalist, oppressive people around them telling them what they should be doing with their lives, what their dreams should be, what their goals should be. They don’t think independently and they allow their “would be dreams” to be usurped by other people’s “instructions for living”.

When I was in college I didn’t meet one person who had an actual hobby (only extracurriculars that helped them get into college and stay in college). I never met people who actually had lives outside of studying and working. They were ALREADY miserable as college students and I predicted they would be miserable adults who created miserable children and who made everyone around them miserable too.

You need a LIFE. You need to know who you are. You need to have things that bring you joy. You need to have YOUR path that you are walking for your OWN reasons.

Something that I don’t think many people realize is that just because you’re not “happy”, doesn’t mean then your only option is depression.

𝘿𝙚𝙥𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙤𝙣 𝙞𝙨𝙣’𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙤𝙥𝙥𝙤𝙨𝙞𝙩𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙥𝙞𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙨. 𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙤𝙥𝙥𝙤𝙨𝙞𝙩𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝙙𝙚𝙥𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙤𝙣 𝙞𝙨 𝙀𝙓𝙋𝙍𝙀𝙎𝙎𝙄𝙊𝙉.

I am unsure why people don’t understand this … aside from just more brainwashing and grooming that they have had drilled into their heads.

Expression is the result of having your own path, your own hobbies, and your own passions that are uniquely yours.

There are so many emotional states between happiness and unhappiness, between expression and depression … and yet most people have no idea what they are or that they even exist.

Most people are all or nothing and they think you either look like that fake influencer on social media or else you’re some kind of loser.

It’s the mentality of a middle-schooler … not a full grown, fully functional adult. And yet many people fall prey to that because they lack higher order thinking skills.

There are MANY factors that contribute to people not feeling “happy” or not feeling their best or “well”. 90% of those factors are PHYSICAL and have nothing to do with your mental well being.

Even more of a higher percentage of physical problems CAN RESULT in mental problems. We know without a doubt that problems with your gut and metabolism and digestion 100% can cause MENTAL ISSUES and brain fog and even depression and mild forms of mental illness. Yes, your STOMACH.

Do your research.

Things like sleep is another MAJOR CONTRIBUTING FACTOR to how people feel mentally and yet most people know almost nothing about the kind of sleep they get, don’t get enough sleep, or don’t place any value in the concept of what sleep even means.

Another huge contributing factor to how people feel …

𝙅𝙪𝙨𝙩. 𝙎𝙞𝙢𝙥𝙡𝙮. 𝘽𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜.

So many people I have met don’t even know what it’s like to take a full breath and they are so tense that they don’t realize they aren’t getting enough oxygen.

This is basic HEALTH knowledge that can make a huge difference in how you feel on a day to day basis that most people don’t bother taking the time to figure out. They are too busy with working, slaving away for other people, never having enough time for themselves, or arguing on social media with other dysregulated, unwell people … when they really should be focusing energy on their own well being.

SelfNESS would make a huge difference in the world if more people focused on it.

The point of this lecture was to reiterate to my tribemate that doing the work to be her best self wasn’t just for her, it was also work that benefited her family and the people around her, including strangers she might meet out in the world.

Having a “bad day” and “not feeling 100%” etc are not EXCUSES TO HURT OTHERS or to treat people unkindly or to spread negativity to people’s lives.

Doing the work you need to do on yourself to be your best self for YOU and OTHERS is selfness.

I don’t blame people for their trauma or their health problems or anything else that is out of their control that may have lead to them having a difficult daily life.

What I blame people for is not caring about the damage they do to themselves and especially other people every day that they choose not to do the work they need to do on themselves to be healthier and to keep their loved ones safe from the cycle of abuse and negativity that has created the world we live in today.

Do better.
Be better.

You aren’t the only person in the world. You aren’t the center of the universe. Your actions have consequences.

How you treat others has ripple effects that you can’t even see.

You have choices.
Make good ones.

Not just for yourself, but for others as well.