Inside Out Not Outside In

Summary

If one can't find meaning, reason, and beauty in their own work, their own self, then how can anyone else?

It’s always interesting to me how words become shades of their former selves … as they get changed by the society that uses them for their own purposes, regardless of their original meaning sometimes.

ETYMOLOGY
Validate: 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘨, 𝘦𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘦, 𝘱𝘰𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘧𝘶𝘭, 𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘦. 𝘍𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘷𝘢𝘭𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘤𝘩 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘨.

DICTIONARY
Validation: 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘢𝘤𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘢𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯, 𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘢𝘴, 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴, 𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴, 𝘦𝘵𝘤., 𝘢𝘴 𝘢𝘤𝘤𝘦𝘱𝘵𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘩𝘺.

An internal realization versus and external need.

Valere means to be strong, but it also means 𝙩𝙤 𝙗𝙚 𝙒𝙀𝙇𝙇; 𝙩𝙤 𝙗𝙚 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙡𝙩𝙝𝙮, 𝙞𝙣 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙡𝙩𝙝𝙮 𝙨𝙥𝙞𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙨.

I like to focus on the internal strength part of validate … the meaning that includes words like 𝙚𝙛𝙛𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙫𝙚, 𝙥𝙤𝙬𝙚𝙧𝙛𝙪𝙡, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙫𝙚 … these words bring to mind a kind of self-sufficiency and forward motion … kinetic energy that leads to creation and even change.

This kind of strength and energy is created within, the fires burn because of passion from the individual, not an external source.

To constantly need to be validated for what should be primarily internal strength and energy means very little that you do will have meaning until someone else decides it does which is very destructive.

I’m not talking about professional arts which rely on the capitalist definition of “valid” to be worth money … I’m talking about who you are on your own terms without anyone else’s approval. I’m talking about finding meaning in one’s own life outside of what everyone says it should be.

Constantly having to validate someone else’s existence is not only exhausting, but it means essentially the person doesn’t have to do any internal work to find their own truths, strengths, and reasons to exist in their own reality … something that is HARD to do even in the best of times, but absolutely necessary for a balanced, healthy, and whole existence.

If one can’t find meaning, reason, and beauty in their own work, their own self, then how can anyone else?

Who you are and what you create from your heart, mind, and soul … with your own power … be it artistic or otherwise … is EPIC. It’s epic because it came from you .. because it’s got your unique stamp on it … because it was made from your energy, your will, and focus. It’s unique.

The first person who needs to understand that is you.

The first person who needs to embrace that truth is you.

What comes after that is recognition … 𝘵𝘰 𝘢𝘤𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸𝘭𝘦𝘥𝘨𝘦, 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘢𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯; 𝘦𝘹𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘦.

… recognoscere: 𝘵𝘰 𝘢𝘤𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸𝘭𝘦𝘥𝘨𝘦, 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘢𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯; 𝘦𝘹𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘦 also 𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘴𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘢𝘤𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸𝘭𝘦𝘥𝘨𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘢 𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘷𝘪𝘤𝘦 𝘰𝘳 𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘥𝘰𝘯𝘦.

Recognition and validation are not the same. Not at all.

… 𝘢𝘤𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸𝘭𝘦𝘥𝘨𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘢 𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘷𝘪𝘤𝘦 𝘰𝘳 𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘥𝘰𝘯𝘦.

It means your existence, your contributions, your unique epicness, what you give and do just by being here … is seen for what it is … a kindness, a service that others receive. The good you do becomes good done to and FOR others.

And that’s all you. No one else.

You could spend your whole life validating someone who is insecure and lost, but until they find their own strength within, until they see themselves as worthy, you’ll never convince them.

No amount of support will ever change something that can only be changed by the person themselves. You can’t be someone else’s heart and soul … I mean … you CAN … but they also need their own to not just survive, but to thrive.

Help them strive to be 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘨, 𝘦𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘦, 𝘱𝘰𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘧𝘶𝘭, 𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘦, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘵𝘩𝘺.

VALIDATION: 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘢𝘤𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘢𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯, 𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘢𝘴, 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴, 𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴, 𝘦𝘵𝘤., 𝘢𝘴 𝘢𝘤𝘤𝘦𝘱𝘵𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘩𝘺.

vs

RECOGNITION: 𝘵𝘰 𝘢𝘤𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸𝘭𝘦𝘥𝘨𝘦, 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘢𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯; 𝘦𝘹𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘦 also 𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘴𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘢𝘤𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸𝘭𝘦𝘥𝘨𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘢 𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘷𝘪𝘤𝘦 𝘰𝘳 𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘥𝘰𝘯𝘦.

No one should be determining someone else’s worthiness or level of acceptability in life. But the acknowledgement of your presence as a kindness done, as something to see and know again … that your presence in the world is a service – a help – to others … that’s epic.