Summary
Anger doesn't exist to remind you of a solid foundation you stand upon, it's a state that weakens you. Anger isn't you, it's who you are not.
#FirstCoffeeThoughts
I was watching a reel on Instagram where a woman was saying that her rage is what reminds her of her values.
Like when she finds herself growing into a rage over something republicans say or something misogynists do etc, she is grateful for her rage because it keeps her focused on what she knows she believes in despite where the world seems to falling to.
Do you need rage for that?
Do you need reminders?
Why do you need reminders of your values and morals?
I wrote an extensive post about an experience with Banishers that really triggered me and reminded me of the abuse I’d suffered for many years … and I said that it reminded me of what I like about the person I’ve become as a result of that trauma and abuse …
It wasn’t about anger … even though a trigger was activated … it was more about resolve and resolve is FAR from anger on the emotional chart.
In fact, it’s the total opposite of what anger is.
𝙍𝙀𝙎𝙊𝙇𝙑𝙀 – late 14c., “melt, dissolve, reduce to liquid; separate into component parts; alter, alter in form or nature by application of physical process”, “to loosen, untie, release”
From the notion of “separate into components” comes the sense in optics (1785; resolution). From the notion of “reduce by mental analysis into its basic forms” (late 14c.) comes the meaning “determine, decide upon” after analysis (1520s), hence “pass a resolution” (1580s)
So, not anger. Far from it actually.
Anger came from an Old Norse word that actually meant: 𝙙𝙞𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙨, 𝙜𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙛, 𝙨𝙤𝙧𝙧𝙤𝙬, 𝙖𝙛𝙛𝙡𝙞𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣.
Have you ever noticed how words CHANGE to suit the SOCIETAL ATTITUDES that they exist in and that they have become LESS honest?
The word anger these days refers to something people believe they control or direct, instead of actually being similar to what the stoics (and others) knew it to be; an affliction; something outside of ones control, something destructive and debilitating to ONESELF.
When it comes to your morals, values, beliefs … what a healthy, regulated person has is a sense of resolve.
verb: melt, dissolve, reduce to liquid; separate into component parts
and
noun: determination, firmness or fixedness of purpose
You would have melted, dissolved, and reduced your feelings (including anger) into a bunch of parts – ideas, questions, reactions, understandings – and solidified them into something more firm, more resolute that becomes your base; your foundation.
When who you are and what you believe, value, and represent becomes a solid base or foundation for your psyche, your spirit, and your emotions … you don’t need reminders.
You don’t need statements and descriptors, you don’t need to become angry over things because anger is destructive and debilitating to only YOU. It serves no purpose outside of being an affliction one suffers from.
Anger doesn’t exist to remind you of a solid foundation you stand upon, it’s a state that weakens you.
Anger doesn’t remind one of who they are, it reminds one of who they are not. It takes away from a solid foundation and replaces it with something that controls, destroys, and weakens that foundation.
Anger, if not restrained, is frequently more hurtful to us than the injury that provokes it. Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything it is poured. Anger is like those ruins which smash themselves on what they fall … No man is ever made braver through anger, except the one who would never have been brave without anger.
Resolve is the result of refining dysregulated emotions into a solid foundation of understanding and self-awareness.
Resolve is actually silent.
Aristotle says that certain passions, if one makes a proper use of them, serve as arms. And this would be true if, like implements of war, they could be put on and laid aside at the pleasure of the user. Nature has given to us adequate equipment in reason; we need no other implements … Reason is the weapon she has bestowed; it is strong, enduring, obedient, not double-edged or capable of being turned against its owner. Reason is all-sufficient in itself, serving not merely for counsel, but for action as well … Anger is has no enduring strength, but is a delusive inflation, violent at the outset. It is like the winds that rise from off the earth; generated from streams and marshes they have vehemence, but do not last. Passion quickly falls, reason is balanced.
Why do you need something as uncontrollable, as weak, as puerile, as empty, as destructive, as enslaving as anger to remind you of who you are and where you stand?
Why do you need reminders?
Why is it possible for you to forget who you are, where you came from, what you stand for, what you believe, and what you would fight for?
How can such fundamental aspects of your whole being be so easily forgotten?
Perhaps because you rely on an emotion that is akin to madness to remind you …
In the same way we smile when others smile, we are saddened by a throng of mourners, and are thrown into a ferment by the struggles of others … Such sensations, however, are no more anger than that is sorrow which furrows the brow at sight of a mimic shipwreck, no more anger than that is fear which thrills our minds when we read how Hannibal after Cannae beset the walls of Rome … Anger may be routed at our behest; for it is a weakness of the mind that is subject to the will.
I think it makes things more clear to be honest and speak what you’re really saying about yourself out loud. What you’re saying is: 𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘐 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘳𝘺 … 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘐 𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘮𝘺𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘰𝘯, 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘐 𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘭 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘺𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧, 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘐 𝘢𝘮 𝘸𝘦𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘯 𝘢 𝘮𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘶𝘯𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘬𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘢𝘥𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴 … 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘢𝘧𝘧𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘺 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘴, 𝘨𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘧, 𝘴𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘰𝘸, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘧𝘦𝘢𝘳 … 𝘐 𝘢𝘮 𝘳𝘦𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘐 𝘢𝘮 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘐 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘧𝘰𝘳.
That’s not something I personally would take pride in … but hey, do you.
People pick and choose what makes them angry. They can decide consciously what they will expend that kind of energy towards. They only seem to care about the things that directly impact their lives or that will make them more popular or that will make them seem to fit in more with others. In that case is that even real? Isn’t that just an act? It seems so fake to me. It’s just a reason to explode to get more social points with the clique you want in with. Grow up.
Anger is not impressive or tough—it’s a mistake. It’s weakness. Depending on what you’re doing, it might even be a trap that someone laid for you.
