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Home » Opening Advice
CoSoThoughts

Opening Advice

Elaine Barlow
Last updated: June 22, 2025 2:44 pm
by: Elaine Barlow
Original Publication Date: November 11, 2022
Reading time: 3 minutes
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Summary

Social media is what you bring to it ... and I see people just bring more of the same anger, complaining, and trauma for their own terrible media experiences to CoSo and that helps no one heal.

Elaine @thewebrecluse

November 11 2022 8:35am

To the Newnauts and Hellmouth refugees who seem to think that criticizing a place that is home to over 100k+ users is a good starting point …

Instead of focusing on all the things CoSo is not or doesn’t have that you’ve grown so reliant upon, perhaps consider that the things that make CoSo better and different and that have allowed it to grow and thrive since 2017 are the same things that can also help you grow, thrive, and be better too. ❤️

The amount of negativity I see from a lot of Newnauts at CoSo being “not what they are used to” or complaints about having to learn something new etc is all very similar to what happens when you have to start a new outlook on life beyond a toxic and abusive relationship; what many had with the Hellmouth. Anger is fear, rudeness is defense mechanisms etc. True healing often begins this way, but it also can traumatize others. Being mindful of that is necessary for a healthy self and community.

Social media is what you bring to it … and I see people just bring more of the same anger, complaining, and trauma for their own terrible media experiences to CoSo and that helps no one heal.

I want to celebrate positive things in my life, to share with others and to have their positivity shared with me. I want to experience new and different voices that aren’t about adding to the cesspool, but rising above it.

Haven’t we all had enough trauma?

CoSo has been around since 2017, so while it may feel like a new space for those of you who are just discovering it, it has been thriving and growing for a long time and there are many amazing people here who have dedicated a lot of time and hard work to cultivate this garden into the refreshing communal space you’re now coming into.

Treating it and the community with respect will continue to ensure it stays an epic place for all. ❤️

TAGGED:angercosocountersocialdysregulationsocial mediasocial media posttrauma

A Note From Elaine

This is my experience, not yours.

I don’t write reviews perse. I write about MY EXPERIENCE with media. If it resembles a review that’s because I’m trying to communicate what media means to ME which has absolutely NOTHING to do with YOU. The existence of my experience doesn’t invalidate yours in any way. If you are triggered by what other people write about art, that is a YOU issue and you should seek help for your emotional dysregulation problem instead of attacking or bullying others for expressing their SUBJECTIVE EXPERIENCE with art. You are not the center. Yours is not the default experience.

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Why No

Comments?

Because this is my life. Not a conversation.

I use this space to journal, to express myself, to have fun … to be me.
Who I am, how I express myself in my own space, my feelings and my lived reality are not up for debate and don’t need your commentary.
You’re a guest here.
Not everything you see online requires your input or opinion.
In fact, almost NONE of it does.
Learn to just enjoy and accept who people are.

Elaine As Jekyll and Hyde

© 2009-2024 Elaine Barlow / ☰ / The Web Recluse.
All gif animations and drawn art by the amazing Christina Oei
No part of the materials available through the thewebrecluse.blog or thewebrecluse.com websites, their subdomains and any affiliated websites, may be copied, photocopied, reproduced, translated or reduced to any electronic medium or machine-readable form, in whole or in part, without prior written consent of Elaine Barlow.  Any other reproduction in any form without the permission of Elaine Barlow is prohibited.

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