Summary
When you leave a toxic space you have to unlearn what you learned there otherwise you end up "doing onto others".
Elaine @thewebrecluse
August 31 2023 8:16am
Depending on the level of toxicity in a relationship, sometimes you have no choice but to go “no contact”. You have to not only leave the space, but also make sure that you remove all access to yourself by those who contributed to the negativity that warped your mind, your soul, and altered your way of seeing the world. You can’t take anything with you from that space if you want to create something healthy for yourself. You shouldn’t bring darkness into your new light.
Sometimes to HEAL and to EVOLVE you have to pack up and go, leaving the darkness behind, so you can breathe again and find your true voice without constant resistance, anger, and completely maladapted people running you into the ground until you inevitably become just as broken and warped as them.
To truly be “Free To Be” … you need to give yourself the space to unlearn, relearn, and thrive where you have support and the freedom to be you; a garden where you have the chance to bloom.
This applies to relationships, family, and social media.
When you leave a toxic space you have to unlearn what you learned there otherwise you bring the same energy, attitudes, and negative behaviors with you … you spread the disease that you are trying to escape from, you infect other people with that hue of darkness, madness, and negativity because you carry it within you.
Your trauma – and it IS trauma – is something that needs to be healed so you don’t unconsciously “do onto others”.
CoSo is home to a lot of refugees. Refugees of a toxic, negative, soul sucking, mind altering relationship that is literally DESIGNED to infect as many people as possible with traits, attitudes, and behaviors that are completely maladaptive to normal life.
The Hellmouth (this is what I call Twitter) has created an entire generation of people who are trapped in permanent FIGHT mode. The stress, the reactivity, the lower order thinking, the triggers … it is all from staying too long in a toxic relationship.
𝘛𝘳𝘢𝘶𝘮𝘢 𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘮𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘢𝘣𝘪𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘤𝘰𝘱𝘦. – Dr Raquel Martin
The trauma many have experienced from toxic, controlling, violent, and oppressive relationships is a festering wound that many don’t know how to heal if they even recognize the trauma in the first place.
Simply: If you have been driven to LEAVE one place to find a BETTER and HEALTHIER place then it’s possible you already have experienced trauma and you carry it with you.
Many refugees are survivors of trauma.
𝘈𝘭𝘭 𝘗𝘛𝘚𝘋 𝘪𝘴 𝘣𝘢𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘰𝘯 𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘱𝘴𝘺𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘰𝘨𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘭 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘶𝘮𝘢.
𝘊𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘹 𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘵-𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘶𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘤 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘦𝘳 (𝘊𝘗𝘛𝘚𝘋, 𝘊-𝘗𝘛𝘚𝘋 𝘰𝘳 𝘤𝘗𝘛𝘚𝘋) 𝘪𝘴 𝘢 𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘭 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘵𝘩 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘥𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘭𝘰𝘱 𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘤𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘪𝘤 (𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨-𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘮), 𝘳𝘦𝘱𝘦𝘵𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘶𝘮𝘢.
𝘊𝘗𝘛𝘚𝘋 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘣𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘦 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘺 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘦𝘳 (𝘉𝘗𝘋) 𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘴𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘭 𝘴𝘪𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘢𝘳 𝘴𝘺𝘮𝘱𝘵𝘰𝘮𝘴, 𝘴𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘢𝘴 𝘪𝘮𝘱𝘶𝘭𝘴𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘰𝘳, 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘩𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴, 𝘩𝘺𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘷𝘪𝘨𝘪𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦, 𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘨𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘱𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘦𝘴, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘥𝘺𝘴𝘳𝘦𝘨𝘶𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯.
10+ years of the Hellmouth can deeply scar ANYONE.
CoSo is a great place for healing and finding support.
There are many tools at your disposal to help you craft a space that is safe for you to take the time you need to heal. You can tend to your own mental and spiritual garden in whatever way you need to.
As with any kind of healing, it’s always about the ENERGY IN. The more positive and healthy energy you put in, the more you will heal in the same vein.
CoSo is full of heart, honesty and epicness; put those in and you’ll get those out.
Many of the hard blocks I make are to protect my peace from those very clearly suffering from some kind of PTSD, cPTSD, or unresolved and unrecognized trauma.
It’s very clear to see that their reactions to things are … triggered, their emotions wild and uncontrolled, and their anger is inappropriate and coming from someplace deep and unrelated.
Seek healing if you need it. You hurt more than just yourself when you don’t.
Don’t inflict the pain you have suffered onto others.
Above all, keep a close watch on this—that you are never so tied to your former acquaintances and friends that you are pulled down to their level. If you don’t, you’ll be ruined. . . . You must choose whether to be loved by these friends and remain the same person, or to become a better person at the cost of those friends . . . if you try to have it both ways you will neither make progress nor keep what you once had.
