Summary
It is fully within a person's rights to be allowed to have and express their thoughts in the form of opinions. You do not have to make your goal in life to have an opinion on everyone else's opinions.
#FirstCoffeeThoughts
Opinions are always valid … even when they are based on whims, irrationality, nonsense, lies … they are personal – very personal – and everyone is entitled to have them; yes, even if you don’t agree with them.
It is fully within a person’s rights to be allowed to have and express their thoughts in the form of opinions. It does not have to be your business … and you do not have to make your goal in life to have an opinion on everyone else’s opinions.
When someone has an opinion that you don’t like, you judge them and that is ok too. In fact, it’s a smart thing to do for several reasons.
The problem is that most people don’t know what words mean and instead they have a Preferred Connotation for words instead of actual definitions.
What is a judgment?
Judgments are personal too but the difference is they are based on evidence. Judgments are based on reason and fact-based evidence, not just on whimsy and simply “because”.
Can judgments be wrong?
If they aren’t applied with fact-based evidence, reason, and humility then yes, they can be wrong and they basically become simply opinions.
Here is the problem though … (and one of the many reasons I don’t like “fans” of things) when you get a bunch of narrow-minded people together in one space and they all share the same limited opinions, they get into feedback loops and group-think and begin to accept their opinions AS TRUTH because of their shared reality.
The group takes this truth based on their shared reality of opinions and uses those “facts” to then “judge” other people.
Their judgement is false because the “facts” that they have based their evidence on are also false and are based on an entirely incorrect reality of information that they have cultivated themselves and within their own illogical and dysregulated worldview.
You know how that ends up working out … just look at social media and then look at the state world.
Taking someone’s opinion as fact means you lack critical thinking skills and a sense of self and the capacity to think on your own.
Opinions aren’t fact, they’re fancy.
Opinions are your view of the world based on the sum of your personal experiences, as well as, those around you, your likes and dislikes, what you’ve read, what you’ve seen. Everything that you have ever been exposed to in your life is filed in your brain and shapes your view of the world.
Opinions are fluid and open to discussion. Therefore, as you experience more or receive more information, your opinions can evolve and change.
It is important to note here, that opinions are not necessarily based on facts. Equally important to note is that facts change as time goes by. The world was once known to be flat; it is now known to be round.
Judgments are statements. They are opinions presented as facts with no room for discussion. You have decided that your opinion is the only truth and stand firm in it. Judgments are therefore definite and are very often tied to our core beliefs..
What I learned as I grew more mature in my thinking and understanding of my place in the world was that it wasn’t my business to have an opinion on everything.
It wasn’t my business to center myself in other people’s lives (or feeds) and express my thoughts and opinion about what I read or saw.
People’s lives aren’t about me or my own life. People will do whatever they want regardless of what people outside of their reality tell them.
It’s a waste of energy and it’s selfish AF.
I learned to ask myself A LOT of questions about my own thinking process:
Why am I expressing this opinion? What is this expression about? Is it about me? Is it about someone else? Is it productive? What is the end goal of me thinking and feeling this way? Where does this thought or feeling come from and is that place a positive place, a negative place, a logical place? Why do I feel like I need to express this? Am I trying to influence someone? If so to what end? Who am I to even do that?
The more you question and analyze yourself, the more you come to understand how insanely selfish most of your actions are and how they also wander dangerously into illogical places.
When you question yourself and who you are and why you’re doing what you’re doing, you start to see yourself differently and maybe might even become frightened, critical, and disgusted with what you see in yourself.
That’s a good thing.
Seeing yourself honestly is how you begin to change for the better.
I have a lot of value judgments (𝙖𝙣 𝙖𝙨𝙨𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙤𝙛 𝙨𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙖𝙨 𝙜𝙤𝙤𝙙 𝙤𝙧 𝙗𝙖𝙙 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙢𝙨 𝙤𝙛 𝙤𝙣𝙚’𝙨 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙖𝙧𝙙𝙨 𝙤𝙧 𝙥𝙧𝙞𝙤𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙞𝙚𝙨) and opinions about things that are based on evidence from my individual lived experience … things I have weighed and determined how I feel based on those experiences.
When I have evidence to the contrary, I am always willing to rethink my judgments, especially when enough solid evidence presents itself to make me consider I may be wrong in my feelings and opinions.
I also make a lot of judgments based on the wild opinions people express because the things they believe on a whim, on their dysregulated emotions, and without needing evidence tell me exactly who they are and whether I want them in my life.
Opinions can change at anytime, they lack foundation, and can be shifted if new evidence presents itself or the person simply decides to regulate one day.
That kind of flippancy concerns me a great deal. The lack of conviction also tells me a lot.
There is nothing wrong with having an opinion but I would wonder why you feel it’s normal for you to double down on something that is based on nonsense reasoning, lack of facts, lack of care for any facts, pure dysregulated emotions, something strangers say, or simply because that’s how you are feeling that day or in that moment.
What does that say about you as a person that you can so easily make something a part of you that is based on fancy and lack of reason.
That is a huge red flag.
Passing judgment on someone based on your personal beliefs, morals, and positions is not inherently a bad thing especially when it comes to having to protect yourself from dangerous people and having to make decisions about the kind of energy you want in your life.
Make sure your decisions are INFORMED. Make sure your decisions are based on fact-based EVIDENCE. Make sure your decisions are based on REASON and LOGIC and not emotions.
Render judgments with reason, evidence, and humility.
