On Rudeness and Disrespect …

With the influx of Newnauts I am seeing a lot of behavior and posts clearly designed to perpetuate negative cycles, stir up anger, and encourage engagement with that anger. There may be a lot of people who share your trauma and share your anger but spreading that negativity into a new space full of other people who are struggling with their own healing is so disrespectful. Shouts into the void with the sole purpose of attracting other angry shouts is one of the reasons some left the Hellmouth.

It’s ok that you’re new, that you’re a bit lost, that you’re a bit tainted and angry from the Hellmouth. It’s ok if you’re just dipping your toes in, it’s ok if you’re just taking a peek … it’s not ok to be rude though … that’s just never ok.

Rudeness isn’t a bad habit … like something you just happened to pick up somewhere and accidentally keep forgetting to not be … it’s a character trait you’re choosing to bring into a space and inflict upon others.

Many of us came from abusive social spaces. Many of us were harmed in those spaces. Many of us sought peace and refuge from those spaces. And yet … not all of us showed up in this place of peace and brought attitudes and ego and anger with us. Some of us saw it for exactly what it was – not a new space to conquer or destroy or shit all over – but a place of healing and positivity that we worked hard to make ourselves worthy of.

I’m not sure I can, nor do I think I want to continue to, make excuses for people’s rude behavior. Over my time here I have heard so many different theories about, excuses and justifications for, and deep levels of understanding regarding, people displaying what simply amounts to really shitty behavior as they try to immediately establish their ego and presence in a completely new public space. I’m not sure anything more needs to be understood about such individuals that isn’t blatantly obvious.

I left Hell to find peace and seeing people bring Hell with them into the garden that is CoSo is not something I have patience or understanding for. These people clearly have no patience or understanding for OTHERS when they act this way, but I’m supposed to have epic levels of understanding for their lack of self-awareness, control, and empathy? Sorry but I’m all out of that. I only have patience and understanding for people who make an effort to be better people for the sake of others.

Picture it …

You’ve just escaped the Titanic and have nothing but your name (if even that) and you climb aboard not a new ship but in fact one that has been sailing and navigating the social media seas for 5 years.

You have an opportunity to find a new home for yourself and meet the incredible, friendly, genuine members of this new community. What are the first words to leave your lips? A rude comment? A complaint? A criticism? Or a heartfelt greeting of kindness?

Ponder that a while …

You have CHOICES. We all have CHOICES in how we want to behave when we take that step to create a new account somewhere new, login, and make that first POST.

Your introduction in that new space … what is it going to be like?

An immediate criticism? A complaint? Are you kicking the door down to declare what you hate about the place you left? Are you screaming into the air because you can’t figure out how it works?

What is our first impression of you going to be?

What do you want it to be?