• Media Psykhe
  • @elaineiswatching
  • Jekyll and Hyde
The Web Recluse

Essays, Lectures, and Rants : The Thoughts Of Elaine Barlow

  • Home
  • Essays
  • First Coffee Thoughts
  • Videos
    • Jekyll and Hyde
    • Jem and The Holograms
  • Podcasts
  • Experiences
    • Audiobooks
    • Gaming
    • Comics
    • Cigars
    • Television
  • Contact

New Here?

If you are new to my website and my writing here are some random bits to start with. I hope you enjoy your stay!
First Coffee Thoughts December 19 2024
First Coffee Thoughts

You Need To Become Media Literate

December 19, 2024
Elaine Is Reading : Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde. Chapter 4 -Part 2
Jekyll and HydeVideos

Jekyll and Hyde – Chapter 4 (Part 2)

August 13, 2024
Elaine Is Reading : Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde. Chapter 5 -Part 1
Jekyll and HydeVideos

Jekyll and Hyde – Chapter 5 (Part 1)

August 28, 2024
Elaine Is Reading : Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde. Chapter 5 -Part 2
Jekyll and HydeVideos

Jekyll and Hyde – Chapter 5 (Part 2)

August 28, 2024
Font ResizerAa
The Web RecluseThe Web Recluse
Search
  • Categories
  • Forums
  • More Foxiz
    • Sitemap
Follow US
Made by ThemeRuby using the Foxiz theme. Powered by WordPress
Home » The Stoic Way: Realism
First Coffee Thoughts

The Stoic Way: Realism

Elaine Barlow
Last updated: June 30, 2025 12:16 pm
by: Elaine Barlow
Original Publication Date: May 5, 2024
Reading time: 5 minutes
The Cognitive Bias Codex
The Cognitive Bias Codex
SHARE

Summary

Choosing to live in a world separate from actual reality is not a healthy way to live life. Choosing realism is not the same as being pessimistic.

First Coffee Thoughts (previously under “Musings” and “CoSo”) are blog versions of my #FirstCoffeeThoughts and #FCT multi-thread posts on CounterSocial. These are here for posterity and also to make them easier for people to read at a later time should they wish to.

#FirstCoffeeThoughts

Choosing realism is not the same as being pessimistic. Denying reality and choosing optimistic bias is delusional.

It is possible to see things as they are and not make it an internally destructive event, especially if you are emotionally, mentally, and spiritually regulated.

It is not possible to deny reality for long periods of time and not have it affect your emotions and physical and mental states.

Cognitive biases are systematic errors in thinking. They affect the entire realm of cognition in both how a person perceives not only their own world but also the worlds of others.

Choosing to live in a world that you keep separate from actual reality is not a healthy way to live life.

That is not to say that people shouldn’t protect themselves from harm and trauma, it just means that delusion and willful denial are not the healthiest ways to accomplish that.

There will eventually be a catastrophic breakdown in the walls of the very flimsy Denial Castle you are living in.

There is only so long that one can board up windows and try to shut out the outside world … like the original Night Of The Living Dead … the zombies and farmhouse maintenance are both metaphors for not facing the truth of the changing world …

Eventually, you will be overrun by the truth and eaten alive by it.

The truth doesn’t set you free. It traps you in a prison of a new reality. I don’t think people want to be in a prison that they are AWARE they are in. It’s easier to be a prisoner when you don’t realize that you are. I would rather have truth.I would rather know. Because then I can choose to escape instead of spending my whole life not realizing I need to.
Elaine Barlow

I wrote that line about truth when I was in the 7th grade … my understanding of what I needed to do to be able to face reality was something long since known to me.

What I discovered in middle school was a lot of people who masked their pain and/or took their pain out on others … they never looked within for the problem and that was something that bothered me greatly about my peers.

I was scared of them because they always seemed unwell and on the verge of exploding …

Related Reading >  Who Are You

That feeling hasn’t changed for me and I’m past 50 …

What I see is still a lot of people denying truth, hiding from truth, and being willfully ignorant about the world around them … and these are the same people who are angry about small things, insignificant things … they project all that internal fear and terror of inevitable truths onto everything and everyone, instead of just strengthening themselves and learning to face reality.

I find such people to be very dangerous.

This is my personal philosophy of why I live my life as a realist:

The stronger you become in the face of adversity, pain, and even evil in your life, the more you can help other people who are suffering and have not yet the strength to fight or flee.

You can do more good for others in the world being emotionally, mentally, and spiritually balanced, than you can being a slave to fear, anger, and delusion.

It’s more important to help others than to protect false narratives and personal bias.

TAGGED:cognitive biascosocountersocialdysregulationfctfirst coffee thoughtshealingrealismsocial mediasocial media poststoicism
SOURCES:The Cognitive Bias Codex
VIA:Elaine Barlow (@thewebrecluse)

Latest Podcast

Elaine Is Reading : Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde. Chapter 6&7 - Part 2

Elaine Is Reading: Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde > Chapters 6&7 – Part 2

This video goes into depth about how the story mirrors so much of the reality of addiction spirals and dealing with the breakdown of friendships.

Audiobooks

Heartless Hunter by Kristen Ciccarelli

Heartless Hunter by Kristen Ciccarelli

Gross and tone deaf fantasy about a woman falling in love with the equivelent of a Nazi who hunts and kills women who are witches. This stuff isn't hot or romantic.

Audiobooks React
July 21, 2025
Deadly Games by Sally Rigby

Deadly Games by Sally Rigby

DCI Whitney Walker and Forensic psychologist, Dr. Georgina Cavendish couldn't be more different but these two headstrong women make a great team.

4.3 out of 5Simple Yet Enjoyable

Like My Work?

Support me if you can. Anything is appreciated.

Latest Videos

Previously On JaTH – S01E04

This episode has everything: ankle cars, obvious private eyes, Carmen San Diego, bitchy unicorns, racist body terror, and that guy from Predator.

March 7, 2025

Previously On JaTH – S01E03

This episode has everything: white privilege, well behaved foster children, Gargoyle butt stuff, Paris, the grooming of young girls, Jem getting preferential treatment (again) ... and Katie Cassidy IS Pizzazz.

February 3, 2025

Essays

First Coffee Thoughts April 9 2025

Change Is Hard AF – Part 2

People are reluctant to evolve and test their character as they move through life because truth and clarity can drive people mad.

By Elaine Barlow
June 30, 2025

You Are Dysfunctional

People online have NO CLUE how to behave or how to treat each other in healthy or civilized ways. And yes, I do blame social media.

By Elaine Barlow
June 30, 2025

Get TheWebRecluse Newsletter!

No spam! End of week content updates only!

Check your inbox or spam folder to confirm your subscription.

You Might Also Like

First Coffee Thoughts

Realism ≠ Pessimism

By Elaine Barlow
June 30, 2025
CoSoThoughts

Idleness As Necessity

By Elaine Barlow
June 24, 2025
CoSoThoughts

You Call This Pareidolia?

By Elaine Barlow
June 22, 2025
CoSoThoughts

Your Way Is Not The Way For All

By Elaine Barlow
June 22, 2025
First Coffee Thoughts

Understanding AS Avoidance

By Elaine Barlow
June 26, 2025
First Coffee Thoughts

Protect Your Peace

By Elaine Barlow
June 30, 2025
Elaine Cosplay Jem

Why No

Comments?

Because this is my life. Not a conversation.

I use this space to journal, to express myself, to have fun … to be me.
Who I am, how I express myself in my own space, my feelings and my lived reality are not up for debate and don’t need your commentary.
You’re a guest here.
Not everything you see online requires your input or opinion.
In fact, almost NONE of it does.
Learn to just enjoy and accept who people are.

Elaine As Jekyll and Hyde

© 2009-2024 Elaine Barlow / ☰ / The Web Recluse.
All gif animations and drawn art by the amazing Christina Oei
No part of the materials available through the thewebrecluse.blog or thewebrecluse.com websites, their subdomains and any affiliated websites, may be copied, photocopied, reproduced, translated or reduced to any electronic medium or machine-readable form, in whole or in part, without prior written consent of Elaine Barlow.  Any other reproduction in any form without the permission of Elaine Barlow is prohibited.

Welcome Back!

Sign in to your account

Username or Email Address
Password

Lost your password?